I was thinking about this last week on a hike down to the waterfall, that one that some of you have been to, and if you know, you know. An amazing experience when you get to the bottom, but a grind to get back to the top.
Hour and a half down.
2 hours back up.
Steep. Uneven. Hot.
It's a hike that can push your limits and get in your head if your aren’t ready for it.
And somewhere between my shirt being drenched and knowing what was coming on the way out, I realized something:
We keep telling ourselves to “do something hard everyday” and “get outside of our comfort zone,” but most of us only understand this as some motivational poster sentiment.
The world is geared toward our comfort. The goal that most people want to reach for, “I just want to be comfortable in life”.
Convenience. Predictability. Our challenges are even predictable.
So when we step into discomfort, real discomfort, it exposes us for more than we think.
Why We Do Hard Things
Most men only consider discomfort through the gym lens, add weight, push harder, chase a pump. And that is a good way, but that's only one entrance.
There's emotional discomfort.
Mental discomfort.
Spiritual discomfort.
Each teaches you something about yourself.
This isn't about becoming David Goggins and living in a pain cave 24/7. This isn't about toughness for toughness sake. This is about something far more simple.
Increasing your capacity to hold stress without breaking.
Every time you get outside of your comfort zone, even just a little, you expand the container from which you're formed. You build space.
You condition your nervous system.
You get reaffirmation that you can deal with more than you thought, and that affirmation shifts your identity.
The Hike That Reinforced This Lesson Today
This is what I realized last week while I was hiking with my wife and Glenn, a good friend and Balanced Man brother. Glenn is a man who doesn't wait to embrace the hard things in life, he actually looks for the suck!
And just to give you some context, Glenn isn’t ex-military or an ultra runner, he actually doesn’t really like running. He just really likes that place it takes him after.
Going back to the hike; we are on our way out and ascending back to the top.
At one point Glenn decided to run up one section of the hill.
Came down again.
Ran back up again.
And I'm thinking, Whoa... okay... damn!
It wasn't until the last steep section of our hike that I had a reawakening.
I said to myself:
"Time to get out of my own comfort bubble."
I'd never run that last steep section of the hill before, I was always just content with managing my energy and being comfortable. Plus it can be pretty brutal in the heat.
But I decided to go for it, legs burning, lungs on fire, knowing this was outside my comfort zone and it was hard!
However, when I got to the top, two things hit me:
- We become more courageous around people who push their boundaries - the right people pull you forward without saying anything.
- Doing hard things teaches you in real-time what you're capable of - you don't have to believe in yourself, you get to experience yourself right away.
But stepping outside your comfort zone every day isn't meant to be done.
You're not a Navy Seal. Your nervous system can't operate at redline capacity 24/7. Too much strain without recovery leads to burnout; physically, emotionally, spiritually.
That's what so many men are doing in their lives these days already. Holding it together for everyone.
Money stress.
Family presence.
Work-related pressure.
Never stopping to take a breath.
So when I talk about doing hard things, I'm not talking about piling on more load on top of an already excess system. I'm talking about intentional discomfort, small, intentional doses of capacity expansion that don't drain you, but instead, increase your mental threshold.
Things like:
- Having that awkward conversation you've been avoiding
- Fasting for 24-48 hours
- Taking a cold shower
- Sleeping on the floor for one night ( not fun )
- Going a whole day without your phone
- Go to a dance class with your wife
- Doing that breath hold just a bit longer
Little breaks in the comfort zone that remind your nervous system:
We're safe. We can expand. We can grow.
The Other Side
When I got to the top of that hill, drenched in sweat and breathing hard, I was lit up from the challenge. I felt that rush, an expansion in my heart and mind.
That quiet internal "click" that's almost inaudible when your body realizes.
"We just became greater than we were one hour ago."
And It's not about the running, It's about who you become from running.
I know for some of you this would be easy, so what’s your edge?
Not daily.
Not extreme.
Not performative.
Once per week, do something that genuinely sucks, something that expands your comfort zone.
Something that forces you to stretch just outside of your present capacity.
What's your version of suck?
- A physical challenge?
- A conversation you've been avoiding?
- A boundary you’re scared to create?
- A decision you’ve been avoiding because it may change everything?
Only you know what it is. Write it down. Commit to it. Let it teach you, because it's not about becoming tougher during this process as a result of this challenge.
It's about becoming bigger inside. And the only way that happens is if you choose to confront discomfort instead of hiding from it.
Expansion is simple
Do something that is uncomfortable. Get bigger from it. Repeat when ready.
What's your suck?
Written By
Ahren Cadieux
Ahren is the Co-Founder of The Balanced Man, and is passionate about exploring mindset, personal growth, and the power of brotherhood.
